Steps Toward Healing
One small step at a time...
If you are a Christian who is struggling with a past abortion, you may be wrestling with guilt and shame. You may wonder if God can forgive you. You may wonder if the pain will ever go away.
If you are not a Christian, but are struggling with a past abortion, you also may be wrestling with guilt and shame. You may be wondering if the pain will ever go away.
Whether you are a Christian or not, if you're having a hard time dealing with a past abortion(s) you are not alone. Your feelings are real. Others struggle too, and others have found healing. We hope the information on this page can begin the healing process. It takes time. It might mean talking with somebody who cares and understands. We encourage you to get the help you need. You don't have to struggle forever.
1. Recognize that the road to full recovery can take time and effort. God's forgiveness can be had instantly, but sorting out your life and your feelings, overcoming the ever-present temptation to give in again to despair and doubt--these take time.
2. Recognize that it is normal and good to mourn the loss of a loved one. Just as mourning the loss of a parent or spouse takes time, so does mourning the loss of an aborted child. In the case of abortion, the mourning process is often cut short and never completed because of denial or feelings of guilt which block the mourning process. You must courageously allow the mourning process to get back on track. Accept your grief as normal rather than something which must covered up or pushed away. Recognize that the pain of your loss will fade as your healing progresses.
3. Recognize that you are not alone. Others have been through the same experience and the same trials. Their experiences and understanding can help you. They want to help you, just as you may want to help others after you have finished going through the healing process.
4. Admit your personal responsibility but also recognize that others, too, were involved. Pray for God's forgiveness for both yourself and everyone else who either encouraged the abortion or failed to help you avoid the abortion.
5. Forgive yourself. God does not want you to live a lifetime in mourning. Your sin has been forgiven. You have been made new in Christ. Rejoice in the knowledge that one day you will be with your child in the arms of the Lord.
6. Forgive others. Recognize that they, too, acted out of ignorance, fear, or petty human selfishness. If possible, let them know that you forgive them. Forgive even the abortion providers.
7. Give your childen over to the care of God, their Heavenly Father, and the true Parent of us all. Know that they are loved, happy, and well cared for. They, too, desire your joy and happiness. They miss you, but they do not resent or condemn you, because they live in the love and mercy of Christ. Do not try to hold onto them by prolonging your grief; hold onto them by sharing their happiness in heaven.
(Source: Elliot Institute, PO Box 7348, Springfield, IL 62791-7348 | Additional material is posted at www.afterabortion.org)